Thoughts and Encouragements for Wounded Helpers Joined to a Healing God

2008-06-09

Introduction

Living in the Kingdom of God, as His beloved children - what a mighty privilege, and what a great mandate!
Such a great thing requires that we explore the Bible to see what God has in view when He speaks of this. I did such a survey and one theme, actually one verse, spoke to me in particular. As I let its meaning sink in and as I compared it to other parts of Scripture, a more whole and wholesome view on pastoral care emerged.
Below, some of my findings.
For the reader who wants a more complete and balanced exposé on the Kingdom of God, I refer to George Eldon Ladd's book, The Gospel and the Kingdom.

The heart of the matter

In his letter to the Christians in Rome, the apostle Paul explained very briefly and succinctly what living in the Kingdom is all about and what not:

... For the kingdom of God is not food and drink but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit; ...

He says: it's not about obeying certain rules and regulations with regard to external things, like what we eat and drink. It's about something else. And then, he mentions three things: righteousness and peace and joy. Those three things we cannot create ourselves, he says. We need the Spirit of God working in us and through us.
For these three are three of the main characteristics of God. To 'fit' into His Kingdom, we need them - all three of them.

In this article I will talk about what life in the Kingdom of God is all about, based on these three key elements. As we will see, they form a unity - belonging tightly together. As three aspects of life as meant by God, they encompass our outward life, our relationships as well as our tninking and our emotions. You cannot stress one or leave another out without missing the whole thing.
After that, I will discuss some implications of this all for pastoral care.

Righteousness, peace and joy - a brief exposé

Righteousness, peace and joy, building on each other

Let's first have a brief look at what these three are all about. For, as I said they are three main characteristics of God. God is righteous, full of peace and joyful!

First, there is righteousness. We see this also in Isaiah 9:6-7: Jesus establishes the Kingdom with justice and righteousness, while the peace in it will know no end. God requires righteousness of those who want to enter His Kingdom.
The Greek word for righteousness used here in Romans is dikaiosune which is derived from dikaios, from the verb dikaio-oo. It refers to justice: a 'right' way to live, feel and think, that is pleasing to God. The dictionary in my OnLine Bible™ gives as one meaning: 'used of him whose way of thinking, feeling, and acting is wholly conformed to the will of God'.
Who, but our dear Lord and Saviour Christ Jesus, can so wholly conform to that standard?

The case has been made plainly clear by Paul in earlier chapters of the letter to the Romans: we need Christ's atoning offer to cleanse us from our unrighteousness! We are fully dependent on God's wonderful grace in Christ, in this matter.
The good news is, that as we acknowledge this, which is the essence of the Christian faith, a miraculous exchange takes place: Christ was sentenced in our place on the cross for our transgressions and His righteousness becomes ours.
God not only requires righteousness, He also provides it. This was also the essence of the old Covenant in the Torah.

But it doesn't end there. God also offers us the possibility as well as the obligation to change. In the words of Paul again:

O the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways! "For who has known the mind of the LORD, or who has been His counselor?" "Or who has given a gift to Him that he might be repaid?" For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory for ever. Amen.
I appeal to you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. For by the grace given to me I bid every one among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith which God has assigned him.

In other words: seeing what God has done, it is not more than fair that I give my total life (explicitly including my physical body with all its drives and needs) in full devotion and service to Christ.
That way, through His Spirit, He can work out His righteousness in us, while we co-operate with Him to the best of our abilities. One does not rule out the other.

Then, there is peace. The Greek word used is eirene, from eiro - to join or to connect. Apart from exemption from the rage and havoc of war, its meaning includes peace between individuals, i.e. harmony, concord, as well as security, safety, prosperity and felicity (because peace and harmony make and keep things safe and prosperous), according the lexicon in my OnLine Bible™. The concept runs like a thread throughout the whole Bible, and a lot has already been written about it, so I will mention here only a few particularly noteworthy aspects.

First of all, there is peace with God - a central theme in the Gospel, that is closely connected to being reconciled with God through Jesus offer, as described above.

Peace in all its breadth is the state God desires for us, just as the next characteristic: joy. The Bible compares this peace to the state of a baby after it has been nourished and satisfied. In Psalm 131 David says that because he is satisfied like this in God's presence, he has no inclination anymore to demonstrate himself in a 'macho' way. He uses this experience as a call to wait on God, for people on their pilgrimage to Jerusalem.

This peace also has to do with contentment and humility. David's example in Psalm 131 makes this very clear. In peace, we do not need to boast or pretend.

And as John says in his letter, this peace, this being nourished by the great love and faithfulness of God, is also the best antidote to all kinds of fear and anxiety (1 John 4:18).

Lastly in this trio, there is joy, the translation of the Greek chara, from the verb chairo. It involves the joy we feel deep inside when being close to our loved ones.

The Bible and particularly the Gospel is full of this joy (e.g. Psalm 16:11 (cf Acts 2:28); Psalms 21:7; 34:5; think also of the many calls to celebrate very big feasts in the Old Testament). God wants to share His joy with us and does everything to make that possible - even to the point that He gave up His own Son to suffer as penalty for our sins - that stood in the way of us sharing in the joy of God. As Jesus said to His disciples:

"These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
...
Before now you have asked nothing in My name; ask and you shall receive, that your joy may be full."

We are exhorted explicitly to rejoice in God (Philip.2:18; 3:1; 4:4; Psalms 40:16; 70:4; Isaiah 52:9-10; 66:10; compare also the many calls to feast and celebrate 'before the face of the LORD' in the Old Testament).

Righteousness, peace and joy in unity, under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, with (the prospect of) joy stimulating a righteous life, from which peace and joyful fellowship emerge

The unity of righteousness, peace and joy

These three words - three concepts - cannot be separated. For the sincere Jew, separation was unthinkable. I see this illustrated in many occasions in the Old Testament where any two of them are presented as tightly connected (e.g. Isaiah 61:10 where being dressed with a mantle of righteousness is presented as the source of a deep joy like that of a bridegroom on his wedding day). They are one.
Only through righteousness can future peace be secured. Only in the safety that the rights of everybody are observed, and that promises are kept, there is safety, peace and relaxation - the condition needed to let deep-rooted gladness and joy flourish and thrive. And how can we diligently observe laws of righteousness if we do not have the prospect that by doing so, our joy and that of those we love will flourish?
As it is written, Jesus even endured the most severe suffering of all ages by living from a deep peace He experienced in His close walk with God the Father and by looking at the joy (of uniting us with Him and with the Father) that lay ahead (cf. Hebrews 12:2).
His joy not only motivated his righteousness, it also resulted from His righteousness, as Hebrews 1:8-9 clearly witnesses (note: 'oil of gladness' was used at great weddings; the word 'gladness' (Greek: agalliasis) denotes a very exuberant form of joy and gladness):

...But of the Son He says, "Thy throne, O God, is for ever and ever, the righteous scepter is the scepter of Thy Kingdom. Thou hast loved righteousness and hated lawlessness; therefore God, Thy God, has anointed Thee with the oil of gladness beyond Thy comrades." ...

John Piper says about this: "Jesus Christ is the happiest being in the universe. His gladness is greater than all the angelic gladness of heaven. He mirrors perfectly the infinite, holy, indomitable mirth of his Father." (Seeing and Savouring Jesus Christ, p.36).

In another article, on the priestly blessing, I study the blessing given in Numbers 6:25. In that blessing, the grace and peace of God are associated to His glad and proud face, respectively. Those two are closely related to the triplet we talk about here. The peace and joy and pride of God are inseparable from His righteousness and faithfulness. He wants to share them all with us in Christ Jesus. 'Grace is God's righteousness given to us out of His joy' one might say. That's why we see Paul and Peter start letters with a blessing of 'grace and peace' (e.g. Rom.1:7; Col.1:2; 1 Peter 1:2).
The faithful servant of God will receive His joy as well (Matthew 25:21). That brings us to the next section.

Righteousness, peace and joy in everyday life¹, or: living 'in the Spirit'

Righteousness, peace and joy in our life are not an option - they are a necessity. We cannot mess with the righteousness-part and think God will bail us out, like He did before. His patience and grace are great indeed, but are we His friends, are we acting like His beloved children when we keep on slapping Him in His face?
Jesus said we need a righteousness that exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees if we want to enter the Kingdom (Matthew 5:20). In the sequel of this, Jesus explained that the righteousness He desires is not an external conformity to a law, but an internal change of heart, focussing on purity and that what is pleasing to God.

Naturally, however, we neither possess the righteousness, peace or joy I illustrated above. We need the atonement of Christ - the exchange of our unrighteousness against His righteousness, our turmoil against His peace, our sorrow against His joy. As Jesus said, we need to seek His kingdom and His righteousness above all else (Mat.6:33). And in everyday life we need that daily.

We not only need to be saved from our own unrighteousness, but explicitly also from the unrighteousness of our parents and grandparents. Their unrighteousness may have had a far-reaching influence on our life. Exodus 34:6-7 speaks of God's forgiveness and loving kindness, but also of the fact that unrighteousness is passed on from parents to their children and grandchildren - to the third and fourth generations (this counts esp. for the iniquity of idolatry - cf. Ex.20:4-6)! If a counselor fails to see and acknowledge this, it may have devastating effects in the lifes of his/her counselees. Known iniquity of parents, grandparents and great-grandparents needs to be confessed and brought to the cross of Jesus. The iniquity and the associated idols need to be renounced explicitly and wholeheartedly (cf. how Gideon literally had to burn down the idols of his fathers, an action not totally without risk - Judges 6:25-32). Forgiveness and freedom need to be appropriated and fully received, if we want to live the life God has meant for us as His children in His Kingdom.

We also need a daily filling with God's Spirit (Eph.5:18), as well as a daily decision not to listen to the whispers of the sarx - our old nature (alienated from God) - nor to those of the powers of darkness. For only by listening to His Spirit can we live as children of the Kingdom (cf. Romans 8:5-14; Gal.6:8). We need God and His new life in us to do this, as Jesus explained to Nicodemus (John 3:3). The fruit of the Holy Spirit in our life - that is: the characteristics that grow in us as a result of our co-operation with Him - encompasses righteousness, peace and joy (cf. Gal.5:22).

In the beginning of this article, I already quoted Romans 11:33-12:3. Paul says there that seeing (i.e. rejoicing in) the greatness and the great mercy of God, it is no more than fair to give ourselves to serving Him wholeheartedly. If we try to serve Him as an obligation, it doesn't work. We need the experience of His undeserved love, peace and joy to really give ourselves. And giving ourselves in His service, means we want to find out - through His Word - what is really good and perfectly pleasing to Him.

That reminds me of the fact that Isaiah 53:10b says of Jesus that He made and makes God's pleasure prosper. That's the big difference between following religious rules and regulations (what, according to our main text, the Kingdom life is not about!) and serving God out of being in awe before Him, out of reverence, love and gratitude: there is a focus on the pleasure of God. As the sequel to our main text (verse 18) says: he who thus serves Christ is acceptable to God.

No wonder, such a focus changes our feelings, life and thinking!

Pastoral implications

In this section I want to focus on pastoral work with severely traumatized people - those who suffered severely at the hands of others because of what those 'others' did or did not do. Some of the principles and observations may be applicable in other areas of pastoral help or counseling as well, but this will be my focus.

A first requirement in helping severely traumatized individuals is to provide safety. And where to find more safety than in the close vicinity of the Great King? Only He has the authority to conquer the most villain demons who want nothing but destruction. Only He sees through the smartest schemes and lies of the deceiver.
The Kingdom of God is the safest place on earth. So, a Kingdom view has a place in pastoral care. The question is: how do we communicate this to the heart of the one who has such negative experience with authority figures in his or her early life?

A deep understanding of Paul's teaching on righteousness, peace and joy can be of great help here. Because in my experience it is exactly the absence of these three that have caused the abuse in most cases, if not in all.
Let me explain.
First: within a community where righteousness is observed, no one can become severely traumatized. All kinds of abuse or neglect are acts of injustice and unrighteousness. Second: where people are at peace with God, themselves and each other, there will be care for one another and no offence, no traumatization. Traumatizing another always stems from darkness, isolation and other antonyms of 'peace'. Third: where there is the joy of being together, we do not hurt each other. Where people get hurt, there already was irritation, anger and other antonyms of the joy of togetherness.

So, in my eyes, it is vital for a person to recover from trauma, to be properly introduced to these three Kingdom principles and to the difference between these two worlds: the traumatizing world of the sarx (old nature alienated from God) reacting out of isolation from God, and the world where the Loving God is recognized as King. Or, in other words, the world of the butcher and the thief who are out to destroy the sheep, and the world of the Good Shepherd who gives all - yes, even His own life - to rescue them (cf. John 10:10-11).

From this discernment and experiencing the love of Jesus working through the counselor (the peace and joy part), people can learn to trust God, step by step. Unrighteousness in their lives (either unrighteousness of themselves or of others against them) can and should be confronted and stopped.
This may mean that a pastoral counselor sometimes has a hard and unthankful job to do. The situation is similar to that of the surgeon who has to operate (even before anaesthetics were discovered and pains could be excruciating) to get a bullet or dirt out of an infected wound to stop the infection. In Dutch we have a saying that applies here: soft doctors create stinking wounds (implied: wound that do not heal). The darkness must be confronted and renounced in order that wounds can heal. Lies must be exposed and replaced by God's truth.

This last sentence is vital. Too often have I seen people who went on and on and on, struggling, barely surviving because they did not want a lie in their life to be confronted, or because their counselor didn't dare to do the 'dirty job'. We, counselors need a sensitive heart to sit with people, listen to their stories, empathize with their pain, etcetera. But sometimes that sensitive heart becomes a trap or pitfall when we don't want or hesitate to be like lions - heirs of the Great King in defeating the ugly kingdom of darkness - actively chasing the powers of darkness and their hiding lies away.

So, the trio: righteousness, peace and joy, gives an important guideline for pastoral counseling. In one of Jim Wilder's books³ I encountered that he describes three aspects of good parenting: to protect, to serve, and to enjoy. These three are applicable in pastoral counseling as well - both for the counselor and the counselee. By focussing ourselves on righteousness - keeping God's instructions - we create safety and protect the ones who ask for our help; by living in peace ourselves and seeking peace for them we serve them and in God's joy over ourselves as well as over them we can rejoice with them and stimulate their identity formation and self respect. The same counts for the counselee him- or herself: by helping him or her to focus om righteousness, we co-operate to create safety in their lives, and a focus on the peace and joy of God will contribute significantly in recovery processes. By his or her attitude a good counselor can be a great model for healthy living that speaks louder than any sermon or skilled therapeutic intervention can. In case we would neglect any one aspect of the three presented here, in fact we neglect the one we are trying to help. Only by considering all these three aspects in their coherence can we really contribute to the spiritual and psychological health of those who ask for our support.

Footnotes:

For further reading

Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel, Baker Book House, Grand Rapids MI USA, 1970.

Jay E. Adams, The Big Umbrella ... and other essays and addresses on christian counseling, Baker Book House, Grand Rapids MI USA, 1972.

Jay E. Adams, Ready to Restore, Baker Book House, Grand Rapids MI USA, 1981.

Neil T. Anderson, Victory over the darkness - realizing the power of your identity in Christ, Regal Books, Ventura California, USA, 1990; ISBN 0-8307-1375-1.

David Augsburger, Caring Enough to Confront - Learning to speak the truth in love, Marshall Pickering / Herald Press, UK, 1973/1980.

William Backus, Telling the Truth to Troubled People - a manual for christian counselors, (Telling the Truth-series), Bethany House, Minneapolis MN, USA, 1985.

Bill & Sue Banks, Breaking Unhealthy Soul-Ties, Impact Christian Books, Kirkwood MO, USA, 1987.

Donald G. Bloesch, A Theology of Word & Spirit - authority & method in theology, Christian Foundations -series, InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove Illinois USA, 1992.

James Montgomery Boice, The sovereign God, Foundations of the Christian Faith - Vol. 1, IVP, Downers Grove Ill USA, 1978.

2007-10-28

Tony Campolo, The Kingdom of God is a party, God's radical plan for His family, Thomas Nelson, 1992; ISBN-10: 0849933994 ISBN-13: 978-0849933998.

2008-06-09

Christine Carter (Berkeley UC), Within Families - The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness, webdocument of The Center for the Development of Peace and Well-Being.

Jack Hayford, A passion for fullness, Word, USA, 1990.

Peter Horrobin, Healing through deliverance (2 parts), Sovereign World, Chichester, 1991 (new edition: Healing through deliverance 1: The Foundation of Deliverance Ministry and: 2: The Practice of Deliverance Ministry, Chosen Books, 2003; ISBN: 0800793250 and 0800793293 respectively).

Jan Johnson, Heavenly Purposes - Aligning your life with God's redemptive plan, Issue 121, Jan./Febr. 2001; and: His Word, Your Words - Immersing yourself in Scripture breathes new life into your prayers, Issue 137, Sept./Oct.2003), both from Navigators' Discipleship Journal.

Thomas à Kempis (Thomas Hemerken van Kempen), (translation by Aloysius Croft en Harold Bolton), The Imitation of Christ, The Bruce Publishing Company, Milwaukee, USA, 1940; is also available on the web.

Chester and Betsy Kylstra, Restoring the Foundations - An Integrated Approach to Healing Ministry, 2nd ed., Proclaiming His Word, Santa Rosa Beach FL, 1994, 1996, 2001; ISBN 0-9649398-2-7.

George Eldon Ladd, The Gospel and the Kingdom - Scriptural Studies in the Kingdom of God, The Paternoster Press / Wm. B. Eerdmans, Grand Rapids MI USA, 1959 / 1994.

Brennan Manning, Abba’s Child - the cry of the heart for intimate belonging, NavPress, Colorado USA, 1994.

Tom Marshall, Free Indeed, Orama Christian Fellowship Trust, 1975/83.

Josh McDowell (with Dale Bellis), Evidence for joy - Unlocking the secrets of being loved, accepted and secure..., Word, Waco TX USA, 1984; ISBN 0-85009-055-5.

Valerie J. McIntyre, Sheep in Wolves' Clothes - How unseen need destroys friendship and community and what to do about it, Pastoral Care Ministries / Hamewith Books - Baker Book House, Grand Rapids MI USA, 1996/1999.

John Piper, Seeing and Savouring Jesus Christ, Crossway / Good News Publ., Wheaton, 2001; ISBN 1-58134-623-9.

John Piper, When I Don't Desire God, Crossway Books, Wheaton Ill, 2004; ISBN 1-58134-652-2.

John Piper, The Passion of Jesus Christ - Fifty Reasons Why He Came to Die, Desiring God Foundation / Crossway, Wheaton, 2004; ISBN 1581346085.

Derek Prince, Blessing or Curse, Word, UK / Chosen Books, USA, 1990.

Mary Pytches, Set My People Free: inner healing in the local church, Hodder & Stoughton, London, 1987.

Francis A. Schaeffer, True spirituality, Tyndale House, Wheaton USA / Coverdale House, London GB, 1972.

Charles Sibthorpe, A man under authority - qualities of Christian leadership, Kingsway, Eastbourne, Great Britain, 1984.

Paul Thigpen, Where's the joy? - It May Be Closer Than You Think - keys to finding the Source of True Delight; USA Navigators' Discipleship Jl, Issue 93, May/June 1996 (see also the sidebar: Joy Stealers).

A.W. Tozer, God tells the man who cares, Christian Publications, Harrisburg PA USA, 1970.

A.W. Tozer (ed. by Gerald B. Smith), I talk back to the devil, Essays in spiritual perfection, Christian Publications, Harrisburg PA USA, 1972.

Ingrid Trobish, The Hidden Strength - Rooted in the Security of God's Love, Here's Life, San Bernardino, 1988.

John Visser, Olive Shoots Around Your Table (with a foreword by Terry Burrows), Essence Publishing, 1998; ISBN: 1-896400-14-0.

Teo van der Weele, From Shame to Peace - Counselling and caring for the sexually abused, Monarch, Crowborough GB, 1995 / Importantia, Dordrecht NL, 2001; ISBN 90-5719-038-9.

E. James Wilder, (The Complete Guide to) Living with Men - Keep Growing and Stay Lovable, Shepherd's House Publishing, Pasadena, CA, USA, 2004; ISBN 0-9674357-5-7.

E. James Wilder, The Red Dragon Cast Down - A Redemptive Approach to the Occult and Satanism, Chosen (Baker Book House), Grand Rapids, MI, 1999; ISBN 0-8007-9270-X.

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For more information, or your reaction to the above, you can contact me via e-mail: andre.roosma@12accede.nl.

© André H. Roosma , Accede!, Zoetermeer/Soest NL, 2006-05-06 (1st NL version)/ 2019-12-28; all rights reserved.